Mindless thoughts

I've been missing human interaction for a while now, so I kept "hunting" social apps, looking for strangers to talk little nothings to. It did keep me entertained for a short period, but chatting with a wide variety of lost souls, I came to the conclusion that I can't keep lying to myself, pretending to be safe and sound on my own.

I'm not.

Nor am I looking for anyone, I'm looking for a certain someone in any person I come across. It's wrong, I know.

My insides are frozen, but not any source of heat can warm me up, I tested it, but it doesn't seem to work, so I have a weird rash, how do I treat it? It's not a typical skin condition, dermatologists have prescribed a ton of lotions, fuck them, they are clueless. So am I, looking for help in the wrong place. Still wandering.

Your heat has left my skin a few years ago and your smell is vaguely printed in my cells, but I can feel it fade away as well.

I'm still hiding behind closed doors, these loathed walls have engulfed my inner spirit, so I am undoubtedly being killed by the unknown within me.

How did I survive for so long, you may ask?

I have no clue, love, but I am definitely not feeling alive anymore.

Meditation and therapy don't seem to work for me either, so what else can I resort to?

Some say faith can save any soul, but I am a mere sinful earthling walking in circles.

How long can my inner child hold this alarming level of toxicity?

My mind keeps screaming at me right now, so I'll shut it down for a couple of hours.

See you in my dreams.

Good night!